Why gratitude isnt for wimps

Search for:. Science Health Culture Environment. Share this Article. You are free to share this article under the Attribution 4. Time in nature can boost teen well-being. Teens report loss of well-being during remote school.

Stay Connected. Subscribe to our Newsletter. Add your information below to receive daily updates. Sign Up. Load More. First Name. This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged. Retraining our thoughts takes constant vigilance and commitment. It requires monitoring our feelings as the barometer of our thoughts and our words as the indicator of what and how we think. How it helps: As we think, so are we.

If I think life is unfair and cold and vindictive, I will feel that reality. But if I think life is an adventurous joy, that the challenges of life are meant for my good, that it is my task to figure out how life is trying to guide and direct my path, then the attitudinal reality will be completely different. And so will the level of happiness available to me. In order to have a life of growth and happiness, you must be vigilant in recognizing and overcoming the obstacles life and human nature place in the way.

As you learn to recognize the trouble spots, take steps to build your ability to transcend them. Develop the characteristics that break down those obstacles. Set goals. Make them small and incremental. Take small but regular steps toward the needed improvement. Set the smaller goals and focus there. One or two at a time is usually plenty. The big picture will come as you lay the smaller bricks.

Will was 12 and his brother was nine at the time. They complained it was an impossible task for two so young. It took a year and a half to finish, as a matter of fact. They learned the lesson of one-brick-at-a-time. We can build amazing lives of deep and lasting happiness much the same way. Enjoy the journey! You can take it with you as you build happiness upon happiness, one character trait, one practice, one habit and one principle one brick at a time.

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Great post Ken. Totally agree with you. To maintain the strength of being happy I think we really need to understand ourselves through self awareness, and have a flexible mindset to adapt to life challenges. Creating a life with purpose and passion takes a lot of strength.

Through step by step action towards living our dreams life will unfold itself to become more manageable. I have learnt that being in the comfort zone is never provides real comfort. The sense of security develops from the inner strength of taking on challenges with a positive attitude. What really drives me is having the awareness of the positive lessons which exist from all life experiences.

Thank you Ken. Thanks Paul! What a great comment! Life challenges to our character and emotional states are what the gym is to our physical states. It is in the fire of the trial that we often have the emotional debris burned off. But to learn and grow from the work of living through difficult times, like you said, we need to have the positive attitude that allows us to see and then step beyond the adversity into the joy that comes to those who weather the storms of life well.

Living in the comfort zone of life causes stagnation and boredom. To push our limits in life, to not settle and live our dreams and passions — bliss! Thank you for the kind words. I love the depth of your insight you shared. Fear truly is the great immobilizer. I like that you added boredom to the effects of stagnation.

Can you imagine a happy bored person? Me either! Living cloistered lives within the ease of our comfort zones is to forfeit any sense of excitement about living. But to wake up and reach out and create and grow and see and understand and develop and become what we can become is to step way outside comfort zones, but also to step deep inside a life that is open to the perfect word you used, Nancy: Bliss! This post proves that words have the power to motivate. Exceptionally well written article.

Thanks and please keep writing. You have moved me enough to get started and not stagnate. That means a lot to me. As for writing? Stagnation is poison. And never forget that a life of stagnation is just as poisoned had we sipped from a stagnant pool. Enjoy the journey. Life is a journey and like you say when we get out of the comfort zone we have built for ourselves we fin happiness and joy.

When i got my divorce and had to be totally responseable for 3 children, it scare the pants of me, but it was a better option that staying in my situation.

When all was said and done I found happiness. I was proud and knew than what I was really made of and that I could complish anything that I set my mind to too. With an attitude that lifes journey make you strong, so hit them head on and you will enjoy the ride. Thank you for sharing this post with us. Everyone deserve to find there way to happiness. Blessing to you, Debbie. Life IS a journey! And you have had some bumpy roads along the way. All the more wonderful and impressive that you are such a force for good in the world today!

But the attitude we take to the adversity determines the nature and effect the challenge has on our attitudes and personalities and character. Happiness is indeed an art. It requires creativity and imagination, the practice any art requires to master it, the styles that are explored are also reflected in the ways we can explore our inner and outer worlds on our road to happiness.

The progressive accomplishment of a worthwhile goal, however large or small, is the key to a happy life. Hi Stuart! Great points! Great post, Ken! I agree with you that happiness is not something for everybody. Most people shy away from it or are simply too lazy to work on themselves and achieve a state of happiness. With your first point humility , you hit the nail on the head. You need to let go of your pride and selfishness in order to work on our thoughts and our mindset.

Hello Anne-Sophie! All we can do is share the steps in hopes others will take them. Ken, thank you so much for such a wonderful post. Thanks so much for shining a light when I really needed it : Hope your day and your life is happiness itself. All it requires to get to the end of the road is a step at a time. Blessings to you as you begin to redirect your steps, Mel. But be patient with yourself as you go. We all stumble around in the dark from time to time.

I used to be quite snobbish. Depression humbled me. Good to be here, Noch! Sorry yours was such a hard fall, but glad your making your way back, perhaps with a tad more humility than before. I would love to hear more about setting goals. How would you apply that to goal setting in this case? Hello Becca! What an interesting question; so glad you asked. I think the SMART method of goal setting can work very well with the brand of personal goals I advocate for more happiness.

You can further set a timeline to check completion at some date in the future. Not every one of the three are equally measurable. But taken as a whole, it seems to me that they come pretty close. I agree. Happiness is not for wimps as you say. It requires a fair amount of work if we want to be truly happy. Here are my thoughts on your points to being happy. How true. If we cannot change our negative habits, thinking and all that is causing us to be unhappy, we can never be happy.

The problem is that it is not easy to master our pride and our ego. In fact, it can take great courage and strength to be humble. Thus, happiness does indeed require humility. Living life solely for ourselves lacks meaning. Sure, material possessions and pleasures may make us momentarily happy, but these things are shallow and so the happiness does not last. But living for the sake of others and doing all we can to protect and nurture our loved ones gives our lives deep meaning.

This also requires deep sacrifices, but it is something we will willingly do for the sake of love. When we learn to place others before ourselves and to better them, happiness comes naturally. Thank you so much for your always-thoughtful comments! Also great points on creating meaning in our lives as an important aspect of living happy lives as well. After the initial jolt to the system humility allows as we peer into our own souls, the truly happy are people who have used that self-awareness to figure out a way to create deeply meaningful lives of significance.

Great post Ken, happiness is such a byproduct of a sum of the things you stated above. I find in my own journey of personal development that retraining thoughts and staying discipline, committed and consistent in my goal setting and achieving to be a constant battle.

I do find however, that the more I use my will power and vision of my future the battle of the mind becomes easier to stave off. Comfort zones are also so key because we are such creatures of habit and moving in and out of them requires such effort that it is easier to put off the task…but it is so necessary.

Thank you for your insight and effort by posting this jewel. To your continued success. Thank you so much, Drew. You shared some wonderfully wise words yourself in your comment. Thank you for sharing this great article Ken. You definitely nailed it my friend! Two-thumbs up for you!